a reason for everything

So, over the past two weeks, my world, financially, has officially caved in. I'm pretty sure I have almost reached rock bottom. for starters, because of the economic crisis we are facing, colleges have put deadlines on tuition; SUU is one of them. Unfortunately, my financial aid not only was late, but didn't even come close to covering tuition. (I was still about $1000 short). I will admit that may be partially my fault, I did procrastinate getting everything in on time, but still it's the fact that I only got $1700 for each semester when other people got three times that. What I don't understand is, (and no offense to my parents) my parents didn't even make that much. Don't they judge part of how much you get on how much you made? In the past, my grants have covered all of my tuition so I just don't understand why this time I was shorted. To top it off, because labor is bad, I, along with all my coworkers, got my hours cut back. So instead of working 3-4 times a week I only work like 2 times. That's not all, it only gets worse, especially because as of right now I only have $109 in my bank account. utilities are roughly around $20 and rend is about $235....so you can see my problem. Where I just took a whole week off of work my check won't be as good as it usually is. So, after I make all my payments I will most likely have no more then $20 in my account.
It just gets me thinking, where did all my money go? then I realized it's from spending it on small things here and there. Things I don't need. I don't need to eat chicken every night, I didn't need those new heels, I don't need to go on dates all the time. I just wish I would've realized that sooner then later because if I had, maybe I'd not be in this situation where I'm not even sure if I'll make rent. Maybe if I would've stayed I could've payed the rest of tuition for school instead of having to find a second job just so I can keep on payments  and hope I'll have enough for next semester.
Like anyone else, of course I felt bad for myself. I was such a downer, no one really wanted to be around me because I was never happy. I have had just a horrible attitude because of it all. Especially, jealousy. Why should all my friends and my boyfriend get to go to school when I don't? I understand some of them have parents paying for them and others were just smart with their money, but still I will admit I got really jealous. So, jealous I was a brat.
Anyway, it wasn't until earlier today, when I was crying to my bf, that I realized maybe this is happening for  a reason. Maybe God has a reason he doesn't want me to go to school right now. Why he wouldn't want me to get a higher education I haven't figured out, but obviously it's for something good. Maybe he wants me to learn to be a hard worker and actually put effort into earning what I want. Maybe it's to help me learn to not take anything for granted. Or maybe, it's to make me realize that it in order to accomplish something, I will need His help, because obviously I can't do this on my own. This could be His way of getting me to pray and read my scriptures again. It could be one reason, or it could be all. In any case I surely don't know. but as I've heard it said all my life, God works in mysterious ways and if this is what he has planned for me, then so be it. All I can do is go with the flow and hope things turn out the way I want them to. Of course, I know I can't just sit and wait. In order for God's help, I need to meet Him half way. So, over these next 5 months, I plan to work really hard, even if it means getting more then 1 job, I plan on using my money more wisely and only on things I absolutely need, and most important, I plan on getting back into the habit of praying and reading my scriptures. Not only that, but I am going to work on my attitude. Not everything is about me, and I've got to get that through my mind; better now then never. So here begins the new me. The happier, more optimistic, financially wise me. To all my readers, (aka my family) please pray for me. This is going to be a long and hard journey and I'm going to need all the help I can get. Thank  you :)