broke

So, I know earlier I wrote about how I was going to learn to be frugal....epic fail. As of November 1st I will have no money to my name. Where all that money went I honestly don't know. I just know I stated getting my account back up then BAM! Bills.

 Looking at my bank statements it all makes sense. It's really expensive being on your own. Aside from rent and utilities I have loan payments, insurance, gas for my car, and groceries. Luckily, my parents and my boyfriend have been very helpful in loaning me money. Sadly, it all just goes down the drain to bills. I'm not going to lie, it's very frustrating and stressful. It's gotten to a point where I get physically sick because I stress so much. It's so hard especially when all my friends want to go out and do stuff, but I have to say no because I can't afford it. I feel terrible asking my parents for money because I know they're struggling financially too and so I try not to ask them for money or let them know when I'm in need because they can't afford it. I can't cause them anymore financial stress. (I love you mom and I hope you understand. I know you want to help, but its so hard to ask you when I know you're not doing much better).

I don't know what happened! I was doing so well. Only using my money for needs not wants. Every once in awhile yes I splurged on myself a little bit, but I always had a limit set and usually nothing above $20. It's just amazing how you can lose money so fast.

Not only have I lost money, I've also had my hours cut at work. I use to work about 20-24 hours a week..now I'm only getting no more then 14 hours a week. They are 7 hour shifts, but I usually get sent home an hour to two hours early because it's slow. So times that by $7.50...not that great of a check. The annoying thing is, I don't know what I did to get less hours. Yes, I just took 4 days off to go see my family for once, but compared to other people who get days off thats nothing! Plus, I have been the ideal worker. I've always arrived on time, I'm always willing to work for other people even if I'd rather go do something else that night, and I am good at what I do. Customers always make good comments about me. If anything I should be getting more hours, but no for some out of the random reason I don't get that anymore. I've talked to my manager, but all he says is he needs to accommodate everyone else. Which I understand, but when they get 4-6 days a week and I only get 2, that's not fair. It's so stupid. I was so happy to have a job, now I'm just so unhappy because I feel like I'm being punished for something I didn't do. I will admit I have freaked out at work, but I think I had a good reason. When I go into work I don't want to be harassed by my co-workers. They have no respect for themselves or other people. I know no matter where I work there will always be people like that, but it seems so much worse in a fast food place. I have never came home in tears from a job until I started working at Burger King.

I sound like such a complainer, which I guess I kind of am, I just needed to vent and get everything out. Luckily, for every problem there is a solution. And I am currently on a quest to finding those solutions. Starting out, I have been looking for another job. Hopefully something that will work me a little more then Burger King. I recently joined care.com which is a website that people can get on to look for babysitters or a nanny. I have a pretty good background in child caring that I figured it's worth a shot. I also plan on applying at Walmart and even Convergys. I have gotten that desperate that I will take anything at this point. I also have been trying to sell my prom dresses which I'm not going to lie is hard because they're so pretty and they looked so good on me, but I know I'll probably never wear them again and I might as well make some money. Finally, I have done what I've been trying to avoid, but couldn't anymore. I took out a loan. .Right now it's being finalized or whatever. Hopefully, it'll approve. It'll be enough to help me pay for school and books and not have so much financial stress. So, hopefully within the next few months I can have a huge amount of stress relieved.

Like any other trial I know that right now this is in God's hands. I know that eventually he will provide a way for me. I just need to be more patient, keep praying/reading my scriptures, keep going to church, and most importantly never giving up hope or faith in God. I know that I will be out of this financial problem in time and everything will be better. I just have to endure it and I know that because I have such an awesome support system I can do it!