Christmas Traditions

Ah Christmas time. The scent of Christmas trees, cinnamon, drinking hot chocolate, dipping chocolates, and of course eating candy! These are only a few Christmas traditions society shares. My family has a lot of Christmas traditions that I am proud to say have never been broken. Although, a lot of other families do what my family does as well..it's still special to me. To those who read this and don't share any of these traditions maybe it's something you could start.


*The first tradition are the Christmas movies; which are special because you can only watch them around that certain time of the year. You could watch them before..but that's just kind of weird and non-sensible. These movies are about getting you into the holiday spirit. It's hard to be pumped for Christmas when it's a good 8 months away. Anyway, I have made a list of movies my family always watches this time of the year. Most of them are classics.

1. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.  
2. A Christmas Story
3. A Charlie Brown Christmas
4. How the Grinch Stole Christmas
5. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
6. Santa Claus is Comin' to Town


*Another tradition my family does is chocolate dipping/fudge! More so, this is my mom, sister, and my thing, but still I look forward to it every year! My mom will go out and by a big chunk of chocolate which we melt and dip all sorts of things in! We do dipped pretzels, cinnamon bears (for my dad), peanut butter balls, caramels, peanuts, and whatever else we feel like dipping...a lot of the time it's our fingers. ;)
Another thing we make, well my mom, is fudge. (Only my mom makes it because no matter how hard I try, I can never get it to taste like hers). She'll do regular fudge, mint fudge, and peanut butter fudge. Yes, I gain about 10 pounds, but it's totally worth it.

*Every year on Christmas Eve, we get to open 1 present of our choice (usually one from our parents). Most of the time it's pajamas or a blanket, but it definitely hypes us up for Christmas morning.


*Cinnamon rolls. Since my sister gets the most hyped about Christmas, we're usually up between 6 and 7..pretty darn early. When we're first awake, we don't want breakfast right away, so my mom will cook us up some cinnamon rolls which that we snack on until my dad makes us a big huge breakfast.

These are only a few of the traditions I can think of at the moment. I know these are common traditions, but as I stated before, they're special to me and I always look forward to this time of year. Christmas is my most favorite holiday. It's a time for service, gifts, and most importantly, remembering the true meaning and reason of Christmas.

broke

So, I know earlier I wrote about how I was going to learn to be frugal....epic fail. As of November 1st I will have no money to my name. Where all that money went I honestly don't know. I just know I stated getting my account back up then BAM! Bills.

 Looking at my bank statements it all makes sense. It's really expensive being on your own. Aside from rent and utilities I have loan payments, insurance, gas for my car, and groceries. Luckily, my parents and my boyfriend have been very helpful in loaning me money. Sadly, it all just goes down the drain to bills. I'm not going to lie, it's very frustrating and stressful. It's gotten to a point where I get physically sick because I stress so much. It's so hard especially when all my friends want to go out and do stuff, but I have to say no because I can't afford it. I feel terrible asking my parents for money because I know they're struggling financially too and so I try not to ask them for money or let them know when I'm in need because they can't afford it. I can't cause them anymore financial stress. (I love you mom and I hope you understand. I know you want to help, but its so hard to ask you when I know you're not doing much better).

I don't know what happened! I was doing so well. Only using my money for needs not wants. Every once in awhile yes I splurged on myself a little bit, but I always had a limit set and usually nothing above $20. It's just amazing how you can lose money so fast.

Not only have I lost money, I've also had my hours cut at work. I use to work about 20-24 hours a week..now I'm only getting no more then 14 hours a week. They are 7 hour shifts, but I usually get sent home an hour to two hours early because it's slow. So times that by $7.50...not that great of a check. The annoying thing is, I don't know what I did to get less hours. Yes, I just took 4 days off to go see my family for once, but compared to other people who get days off thats nothing! Plus, I have been the ideal worker. I've always arrived on time, I'm always willing to work for other people even if I'd rather go do something else that night, and I am good at what I do. Customers always make good comments about me. If anything I should be getting more hours, but no for some out of the random reason I don't get that anymore. I've talked to my manager, but all he says is he needs to accommodate everyone else. Which I understand, but when they get 4-6 days a week and I only get 2, that's not fair. It's so stupid. I was so happy to have a job, now I'm just so unhappy because I feel like I'm being punished for something I didn't do. I will admit I have freaked out at work, but I think I had a good reason. When I go into work I don't want to be harassed by my co-workers. They have no respect for themselves or other people. I know no matter where I work there will always be people like that, but it seems so much worse in a fast food place. I have never came home in tears from a job until I started working at Burger King.

I sound like such a complainer, which I guess I kind of am, I just needed to vent and get everything out. Luckily, for every problem there is a solution. And I am currently on a quest to finding those solutions. Starting out, I have been looking for another job. Hopefully something that will work me a little more then Burger King. I recently joined care.com which is a website that people can get on to look for babysitters or a nanny. I have a pretty good background in child caring that I figured it's worth a shot. I also plan on applying at Walmart and even Convergys. I have gotten that desperate that I will take anything at this point. I also have been trying to sell my prom dresses which I'm not going to lie is hard because they're so pretty and they looked so good on me, but I know I'll probably never wear them again and I might as well make some money. Finally, I have done what I've been trying to avoid, but couldn't anymore. I took out a loan. .Right now it's being finalized or whatever. Hopefully, it'll approve. It'll be enough to help me pay for school and books and not have so much financial stress. So, hopefully within the next few months I can have a huge amount of stress relieved.

Like any other trial I know that right now this is in God's hands. I know that eventually he will provide a way for me. I just need to be more patient, keep praying/reading my scriptures, keep going to church, and most importantly never giving up hope or faith in God. I know that I will be out of this financial problem in time and everything will be better. I just have to endure it and I know that because I have such an awesome support system I can do it!

Oh How I Love My Family :)

“Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.”
- Evan Esar

I love my family so so much. My amazing dad Brian, my caring mom Deidra, my stud of a brother Augmon, and my precious sister Hydee. They all mean so much to me. 


I didn't always love my family as much as I do now though. Like every teenager I went through the phase where I thought I had the most embarrassing dysfunctional family alive. I hated being in public with them! Everyone who's been through that will know what I mean. Thankfully, I don't feel that way anymore. Now, I just feel so blessed that I have such a wonderful family. 


Let me start off with a little description of my family. All around, we're a really laid back family who like to have fun. My parents are usually pretty cool (might have to do with the fact that they got to be teenagers in the 80's) about most stuff and they're always letting us have parties and friends over and all that jazz. First off we have my dad (whom I dedicated a post too earlier this year for father's day). He is obvious the head of the household. My dad is a pretty funny guy and a great cook when it comes to bbq, dutch oven, and breakfasts. My mom is great. I think she acts more like a teenager then I do. But she's everything anyone could want in a mom. Always making us after school snacks and making time to cook delicious meals even though she has one hectic schedule. My brother is a stud. That's all I can say. My sister is so cute and probably going to be the rebellious one of the family, but she's so sweet.

My family and I share so many memories. Everything from camping trips, to game nights, to just sitting around and watching tv together. One time, on a camping trip, my dad made us the best homemade toilet. We were in an area with no toilets and we (the girls) sure weren't going to squat every time we had to pee, so my dad took 3 branches and formed them into a triangular shape, found/built a little area out of rocks with a hole in the middle where he placed the triangle and that was our toilet for the weekend. 


Another memory was just recently when we were taking family pictures. My mom thought it'd be cute to take one sitting on a fence, only thing was we weren't sitting on the thin edge but the side that showed the most wood so it was kind of like a bench only 2 feet off the ground. Both my brother and I knew it would break and despite our objections, we did it anyway and wouldn't you believe it, the board broke. My brother caught my sister and was lucky enough to land on his feet, my mom and dad both fell (with my dad resulting in a scratch from a nail) and I kinda just stumbled down. My pants got caught on a nail and not only ripped my pants, but gave me a scratch..on my butt. We were all laughing so hard after it happened I was pretty sure someone was going to pee their pants.


One year for Christmas, my dad got the Lord of the Rings Extended dvd's so we spent all of Christmas day and night having a LOTR marathon. It was so much fun! We paused only for dinner. My dad made us homemade popcorn and we ate all our candy. We snuggled up in the blankets and pillows my mom had made us. Life was good.


Finally, my most favorite and reoccurring memory is when we are all home, sitting in front of our big screen watching a show or movie. (When I lived at home, we usually all watched Vampire Diaries, The Big Bang, Legend of the Seeker, or whatever movies we had recorded on our dvr). I know it sounds lazy, but it's something that we all do together that we all enjoy and have fun. 

Being a good 300 miles away from my family makes me realize how much I actually love them and miss them. I love going home, but hate when I have to leave because I don't get to see them for another couple of months, maybe even longer depending on my college student budget at that time. But I am so grateful for my family even if we're crazy and dysfunctional. None of that even matters. All that does matter is that we are a strong unit, which we are. I'm very lucky to have the relationship I do with my family because there are a ton of people who aren't as lucky with their families. I have it made when it comes to my family. I love them so much! 

if not here, then there

It's amazing how a person can be there one minute then the next, be gone. Earlier this evening, a very dear friend of mine, who I've known since primary, was in a terrible car accident where he was taken back to our Heavenly Father. He was such a sweet guy and had such an amazing spirit and one of the strongest testimonies a person a could have. He was a great example not only to those around him, but to me. He was such a funny guy and an awesome friend, he always accepted everyone, no matter what mistakes they had made or where they came from. He was selfless and always willing to help those in need. He came from an amazing family who raised him so strongly in the gospel, that he just radiated with his love and knowledge of the church. In all honesty, he was THE ideal lds boy.
One thing that I really liked about him was his desire to serve a mission. That was his biggest dream, to go out and do the Lord's work. He use to be so jealous when other friends got to go, or when those that had the opportunity chose not to. Being 19, he was so close to getting that chance, but then disaster struck and he was gone. However, an interesting, valid point was brought up to me by several people. Maybe his mission wasn't meant to be here on earth, but rather in heaven, where he could teach to those in spirit prison who hadn't gotten the opportunity to learn about the church. Maybe God knew that he would be an amazing missionary, so amazing that his purpose would have been better served in heaven. Or maybe, because he was so perfect that God didn't think he deserved to be here with all the evil in the world so he took him back where he could serve a better purpose in heaven. Either way I know without a doubt, he's there now sharing his testimony with those willing to listen.

Thank you for everything Logan Fulgham. You have always been such a great influence and all around a great guy. You will be missed by so many people who love and cherish you, but I know you're happy where you are and I know it's everything you've imagined and more. I know that you'll be up there watching over us and waiting until we all return. Rest in peace Logan...you will never be forgotten and you will always be my heart. xoxo

a reason for everything

So, over the past two weeks, my world, financially, has officially caved in. I'm pretty sure I have almost reached rock bottom. for starters, because of the economic crisis we are facing, colleges have put deadlines on tuition; SUU is one of them. Unfortunately, my financial aid not only was late, but didn't even come close to covering tuition. (I was still about $1000 short). I will admit that may be partially my fault, I did procrastinate getting everything in on time, but still it's the fact that I only got $1700 for each semester when other people got three times that. What I don't understand is, (and no offense to my parents) my parents didn't even make that much. Don't they judge part of how much you get on how much you made? In the past, my grants have covered all of my tuition so I just don't understand why this time I was shorted. To top it off, because labor is bad, I, along with all my coworkers, got my hours cut back. So instead of working 3-4 times a week I only work like 2 times. That's not all, it only gets worse, especially because as of right now I only have $109 in my bank account. utilities are roughly around $20 and rend is about $235....so you can see my problem. Where I just took a whole week off of work my check won't be as good as it usually is. So, after I make all my payments I will most likely have no more then $20 in my account.
It just gets me thinking, where did all my money go? then I realized it's from spending it on small things here and there. Things I don't need. I don't need to eat chicken every night, I didn't need those new heels, I don't need to go on dates all the time. I just wish I would've realized that sooner then later because if I had, maybe I'd not be in this situation where I'm not even sure if I'll make rent. Maybe if I would've stayed I could've payed the rest of tuition for school instead of having to find a second job just so I can keep on payments  and hope I'll have enough for next semester.
Like anyone else, of course I felt bad for myself. I was such a downer, no one really wanted to be around me because I was never happy. I have had just a horrible attitude because of it all. Especially, jealousy. Why should all my friends and my boyfriend get to go to school when I don't? I understand some of them have parents paying for them and others were just smart with their money, but still I will admit I got really jealous. So, jealous I was a brat.
Anyway, it wasn't until earlier today, when I was crying to my bf, that I realized maybe this is happening for  a reason. Maybe God has a reason he doesn't want me to go to school right now. Why he wouldn't want me to get a higher education I haven't figured out, but obviously it's for something good. Maybe he wants me to learn to be a hard worker and actually put effort into earning what I want. Maybe it's to help me learn to not take anything for granted. Or maybe, it's to make me realize that it in order to accomplish something, I will need His help, because obviously I can't do this on my own. This could be His way of getting me to pray and read my scriptures again. It could be one reason, or it could be all. In any case I surely don't know. but as I've heard it said all my life, God works in mysterious ways and if this is what he has planned for me, then so be it. All I can do is go with the flow and hope things turn out the way I want them to. Of course, I know I can't just sit and wait. In order for God's help, I need to meet Him half way. So, over these next 5 months, I plan to work really hard, even if it means getting more then 1 job, I plan on using my money more wisely and only on things I absolutely need, and most important, I plan on getting back into the habit of praying and reading my scriptures. Not only that, but I am going to work on my attitude. Not everything is about me, and I've got to get that through my mind; better now then never. So here begins the new me. The happier, more optimistic, financially wise me. To all my readers, (aka my family) please pray for me. This is going to be a long and hard journey and I'm going to need all the help I can get. Thank  you :)

Finding New Hobbies

So here I am, summer almost over and what have I done all summer? Pretty much nothing. Yeah I've done a few  awesome activities here and there, but for the most part other then working, I've bored myself out. There's only so much a poor, minimum wage college student can do you know? So one day as I was complaining about my ongoing boredom, Aaron finally got annoyed an told me to find a hobby. (His is video games...shocker). Well, all the hobbies I could think of doing that I use to do are currently unavailable like chilling with my best friends or going on random shopping trips to Logan. That's what I use to do with my summer, but none of my friends are nearby and the closest mall is 45 minutes away and gas prices suck. So, I  finally made a list of hobbies I am willing to try.

1. Reading. I use to be a good, constant reader, but over the past couple of years I've kinda given up, but not anymore. Since our school library has mostly educational books, I took the initiative to go to my city library, and wouldn't you believe it, library cards are free! (I got one that has a reading superhero on it).  I remember my dad would try to convince me to read The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolken. So, I took his advice and I rented the book. It has been so interesting that I decided my challenge for the rest of the summer is to read the whole Lord of the Rings trilogy.

2. Learn oragami. So, this guy in my communications class last semester, was a skilled oragami maker and made me a few oragami animals. Well I was looking at them awhile ago and decided I want to learn oragami. It can't be too terribly hard, and the internet is full of "how to" stuff. Hopefully, by the end of the summer I'll be a skilled oragami maker.

3. Bracelet making. Last summer, I did this a lot. Well I figured it's time to pick it back up again. Luckily the thread needed isn't expensive and I already have the basic knowledge of how to do it, so this will just be an easy past time

Anyway, well that's about all I have for now. I'm sure as time goes on I'll discover new hobbies, but for now these are my main focus. Wish me luck!!

World's Greatest Dad :)

In honor of father's day, I decided to have this blog post be about my dad who has been one of the only men I know I can always depend on. This post is mainly going to be about how much I appreciate my dad and why.
As most everyone can notice, I don't look anything like my dad, or any of my siblings. However, everyone that knows my family knows why that is. My dad, Brian Kurt Jolley, did something very courageous that took a lot of strength and trust in the Lord that this was the right choice. That choice was adopting me. A few things   that I really admire is his acceptance, patience, courage, and love. Even though my mom had me out of wedlock, he still accepted her and her baggage (aka me). Not only that, but after they married, he took the challenge of adopting me and got me sealed to both him and my mom. He has loved us and my siblings unconditionally. It takes a very compassionate and special person to be able to do something like that, and still treat me with the same respect and equality as my siblings.
I try to put myself in my dad's place at that point in time and I don't even know if I would've been able to take on a 1 year old child right after marriage. The 'idealistic' marriage is  the man and woman get married, spend time just the two of them, then start having kids. My parents didn't get that. That'd be something pretty hard to give up. I know I've always imagined that after I got married, my husband and I would be together, just the two of us for like a year before having children, that way we'd get time to actually know each other. My dad gave that up. Instead of the fantasy I just described, after they were married, they went on a honeymoon and had some time together, came back and took care of me. I can't stretch enough how appreciative I am and it's not until recently I realize how much my dad sacrificed so that I could be a part of his family both physically and spiritually.
I will admit there have been times that I made my dad's life hard. I remember, after I had found out that I was adopted, for awhile, I was the world's biggest brat to my dad and didn't give him the respect he deserved. There were things I said that I shouldn't have that caused a lot of tension between us and to this day I still am ashamed of myself because those things I said were very unnecessary and a lower blow then punching someone in the balls. Yet, even though I hurt my dad, he still loved me, I just refused to see it. Thankfully, as I got older, sense started coming to me and in time things mended between my dad and I.
Now I feel closer to him then ever. For the longest time, I've always wanted to meet my biological father, but over the past year it's not important to me anymore. Why would I want to meet a man that I never knew? That never was a dad to me in any way what so ever? I know that was partially my mom's decision, but even when we did get in contact it was awkward. I felt like I was talking to a total stranger and I had no feelings for him at all. That was when it hit me, I don't need to get to know my biological dad. I already knew who my dad was, and that was the man that raised me as his own,  put a roof over my head, food on the table, and gave me the love every child deserves.
I love my dad so so much. he means so much to me. If it weren't for him I wouldn't know how to check things under the hood. Had it not been for him, I would've had to pay about $300 to get my car fixed up. If it wasn't for my dad, I wouldn't have had the life I have now or the privilege to be sealed as a member of his family. Through thick and thin my dad has been there for me. Even when I screwed up, he still was there for me and although he has been disappointed in me, he's still loved me throughout it all. I couldn't ask God for a better dad and I pray that God continues to give him the strength and patience that he has. Hopefully, you're reading this dad so that you can have an idea of how grateful I am for what you did. It means everything in the world to me. I love you daddy!! :)

Being Specific

This weeks lesson that I learned the hard way was to be specific. Especially when it comes to the male species because if you're not down to the last detail, they will screw up. Here's how I learned. So, I had work and as I was getting ready, I realized I had used up the last of my deodorant. Not only that, but I was all out of mascara. Now the mascara I can live without, but deodorant I NEED. So I asked Aaron if he'd go to Walmart and get some for me. BIG mistake on my part. I wrote down the brand of both mascara and deodorant and what kind I used. I even showed him what they looked liked. The next day I go to use my deodorant and realize it's not the kind  I use. Yes it was dove clinical protection, but he got me the odorless kind. Then, I started working on my makeup. I began putting on my mascara when I noticed it wasn't black...it was brown. So I looked at the tube and it said lash blast volume brown black waterproof. Now any girl knows waterproof is a pain in the butt because it doesn't wash off very easily. I was very irritated and kinda got mad at Aaron, which was wrong because he followed the instructions I had written, I had failed to keep them clear. I asked for lash blash volume and he got that. I asked for dove clinical protection, he got that. So, on his part he did everything right. All in all I learned that you can't just assume someone knows what you need, especially a guy because guys don't pay attention to little details unless you tell them. In any case it all worked out. I went and got some make up remover and I'll admit my armpits have been smell-less and the brown black isn't too bad...but I definitely learned that next time I need to be a little bit more specific.

Learning to be Frugal

Learning to be frugal is a difficult lesson I have come to realize. All my life I've been dependent on my family when it came to finances. My parents always took care of pretty much everything. Which I am now very appreciative, considering I am now on my own. Now that I'm out of the house, I  have so many payments! Like gas, electricity, rent, etc. and I'm realizing that stuff isn't cheap. I give my parents a lot of credit for working as hard as they did to make sure we could make a payment because it's hard. Thankfully, I have a job which helps with payments, but I've learned I can't just go out and do what I want anymore. I need to start being conservative. I am truly grateful for this lesson though. I have learned to prioritize and set money aside for each expense. I will admit, I still have problems  because I'm still a compulsive spender, but I can also admit that I have begun to learn to be frugal. Hopefully, within time, I'll know how to wisely use my money. Until then, I have plenty of time to learn.

The Start of Something New

This is the start of something new for me. I figured that this would be a great way to get my thoughts, experiences, and feelings out. This blog will also be a way that my family can know how I'm doing and know what's been going on in my new, independent life. So, to whoever reads this, I welcome you. Hopefully, my thoughts and experiences don't bore you and I'll try my hardest to keep it at least somewhat entertaining. Well, here we go.